Shame. That painful feeling of humiliation when you’re aware of your poor performance or wrong behavior. You may feel shame because you did something morally wrong. Or maybe because you haven’t achieved success or fame to the world’s standards. It could also come from friends or family members saying you’re not acceptable. You haven’t reached their expectations concerning your career, relationships, or spiritual maturity. Regardless of how it comes, it triggers negative emotions that affect your self-worth. You may think shame is a normal part of living, but God never intended for it to be in your life.
How Shame Came
When God created the world, He put the first man and woman in a beautiful garden, the Garden of Eden. Everything was flawless, just like God. He gave it all to them to enjoy. The only limitation was that they were not to eat of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. They were faithful to this command until the devil—God’s enemy—visited them one day. He persuaded them to eat the forbidden fruit. Sadly, they disobeyed God and ate the fruit, allowing sin and evil to enter the world (Genesis 2, 3). As a result, shame and its sister, condemnation, appeared as well. Let’s look at the contrast between Genesis 2:25 and Genesis 3:7.
Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame (Genesis 2:25, NLT).
At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves (Genesis 3:7, NLT).
Genesis 2:25 is before Adam and Eve disobeyed God. Genesis 3:7 is after they disobeyed God. Disobedience to God and obedience to the devil started the new sense called shame. Before welcoming the devil into the garden through disobedience, Adam and Eve were so confident before God that they felt no need to hide. But after they sinned, they no longer felt that confidence because of what they had done. They were very aware of their imperfection and felt guilt and shame. Knowing what they had done brought grief and a poor image of themselves before God.
Without a doubt, the author of shame is the devil. Like Adam and Eve, he first tempts you to do something wrong, something evil he created. Then when you do what he suggests, he slams you with shame. He lies by saying you’re not pure enough to receive God’s acceptance and love. He may even trap you with an addiction to that sin, then torment you with the shame that you’re bound to that habit. It’s a constant cycle of bondage and a plot to keep you distant from God.
Not all shame comes from sinning against God’s law, however. The devil will also use other people’s actions to bring guilt into your life. These situations could be a divorce between your parents or you and your spouse. They could also include child abuse and sexual assault, just to name a few. The devil may take advantage of these situations and lie to you that it’s your fault. He wants you to take the blame when the blame isn’t yours. He doesn’t want you to realize that you’re responsible for your response but can’t control someone else’s choices. By using other people, he can not only keep you from God but keep you distant from other people.
The devil’s shame always leads to another burden called condemnation—the sentencing of someone to punishment for what they’ve done. His condemnation doesn’t just belittle you and say you’re not good enough, either. It says that you must pay for what you did, that judgment from God is on its way. It inspires the fear of God and His punishment—another curse that proves it’s not from God (2 Timothy 1:7).
If God had wanted shame to be the norm in the world, He would have used its power over Adam and Eve when He created the Garden. But this was never God’s plan. He always wanted humanity to stand before Him free of the guilt of sin. Sadly, that original plan had to be corrected. Adam and Eve’s disobedience began the need for Jesus to pay the price of death for their sin (Romans 5:18, John 11:50). But though Adam and Eve’s status before God had changed, God’s love for them remained the same.
Fighting Shame
If you struggle with a constant barrage of shame, I encourage you to do the following. It may be an aggressive battle that you must fight repeatedly. But if you see yourself as God sees you, each action will clear the way to your victory over every condemning lie. No matter how bad the situation is, God’s Word is powerful enough to wipe out the ugly sense of guilt and lead you into something beautiful.
1. Use the Weapon of God’s Word
The most effective way to fight shame and condemnation is by immersing yourself in a daily diet of Scripture verses. Read them constantly and speak those Scriptures to yourself, even if you don’t feel like it. Specifically, you want to study the verses about God’s love, forgiveness, and acceptance as God’s child (more on this in another chapter). The more you hear and speak God’s Word, the more you will have faith, or trust, in it (Romans 10:17).
2. Tell the Devil to Shut Up
As confidence in God’s Word rises in your heart, direct that faith like ammo toward the devil. The Bible says to resist him, not tolerate or ignore him (James 4:7). Tell him, “What you’re telling me is a lie, and I refuse to believe it! I’m a child of God and loved by Him. Nothing can separate me from His love and acceptance, so I command you to leave, in Jesus’ Name!” As a child of God, you have authority over him. You’re the boss (Luke 10:19)!
3. Put on Praise
Praise is another weapon that you can use to fight back shame. God’s Word says to “put on the garment of praise” (Isaiah 61:3). It’s a choice. You do several things when you choose to put it on. First, you glorify God above the shame. Second, you create an atmosphere in which the devil cannot stay. Third, you remind yourself of God’s goodness. Fourth, you exchange your garment of shame, or heaviness, for a garment that creates peace. Praise is a powerful remedy!
4. Hang Around Strong Christians
Who you hang around regularly affects your life more than you know (1 Corinthians 15:33). No matter what you’re going through, hang around people who encourage you rather than make things worse with their negativity. If you’re dealing with shame, you don’t want to rub shoulders with people who treat you with guilt or who lead you into doing what brought on shame in the first place. You want to hang out with people who encourage you with God’s Word and a positive attitude. Shame’s ability to stay in your life can depend on who you allow to speak into your life.
5. Develop Your Discipleship
The stronger your relationship with God, the stronger you will be to fight shame. Your spiritual maturity depends on how much you invest in being a disciple of Jesus. He will steer you away from shame and into confidence and peace when you follow Him daily. Becoming a mature disciple also includes attending church, serving others, giving financially to the Kingdom of God, and spending time in prayer each day. It’s well worth the discipline.
No matter how shame tries to come, God desires that you walk away from its bondage and enter His love. It may take time to heal, but don’t give up. The devil and his shame can’t hang around faith in God’s Word, praise, and the identity your Heavenly Father has given you. The key is to believe God’s truth over the devil’s lie. The devil’s lie says you’re guilty and condemns you to punishment and a life of shame. God, however, does not condemn you when you belong to Him. He desires to set you free.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:1-2, NIV).
This article was adapted from my book Your ID: Discovering Your Value and Identity Through Your Creator. You can find it and other books I’ve written on Amazon or on the Books by Christa tab in this site’s menu.
PRAY WITH ME
Father God, thank you for not condemning me for my past and present sins and weaknesses. I refuse condemnation from the devil and other people and receive your forgiveness through Jesus’ sacrifice. I will fight to keep shame and condemnation out of my life. Thank You for choosing me. My life is Yours to use for Your glory. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
For more encouragement about who you are in Christ, visit my Your Royalty in Him page in my site’s menu! You are so much more than the devil wants you to know!
DON’T FORGET! I will release my newest book, Milk and Honey: Possessing Your Promised Land, in November! Stay tuned for its official launch date!
CHECK OUT my Free Downloads page in the menu of this site! I just added a version of the Praying to God download to help kids ages 10-12 learn to pray. You can download it and hang it up as a daily guide they can follow easily!
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Christa Madrid 